Busy, busy, busy!

Today I have been very busy. I got no sleep last night. My nurse woke me up 3 times during the night to do breathing treatments, and evaluations. So I have probably been up since 5:00 this morning. I couldn't fall back asleep, so i gave up, and thats when we had to travel to The Harrington Center. We had to do a prelimary visit, and they fitted me for a mold, so if I have to do radiation I would be ready. I had another cat scan, and they gave me 3 tatoo's so they could lay me straight and the radiation would actually work. It hurt really bad, and I cried. It felt like a prick in my side. And if I do radiation I can't swim this summer. Which ruins everything. They all so said I may have to do kemotherapy. So they can shrink the tumor and have another surgery and take it out. They said they can't take it out now because it is big, and it would leave a open wound that would be hard to heal. I'm not scared really, the only problem I have is losing my hair. But oh well, I just need to get better, and get rid of the tumor. I will probably later in the future get a port. So they can stop poking me with needles and digging around. They tried to give me another iv and dug around. So a port would be okay. I get tired of them touching me all the time. It sucks. The whole situation just sucks. And tomorrow I have to do a pet scan, so all day today I am on a special diet. I have to be hooked up to a iv, too. So I am hydrated. And no Dallas right now, we really have no idea when we are going down there, they might even send me to another hospital. They change the plan every minute, it seems like. It is very frustrating. My doctors are suggesting hospitals, for me to get the best care. At least they are thinking of my best interest. The doctors told me that my tumor is rare, and they only have a couple of cases of this particular situation. I am still not afraid. I guess it could be way worse. Sometimes I feel like my life is ruined, and the tumor is taking over. But I have been praying that the tumor is dead and I won't have to do kemo, or radiation. Praying really really hard. But I am prepared to do treatment, It's gonna be hard though. And I know the side effects. But I am so ready for this to be over, and I want to be healthy again. I want to hangout with my friends alot on weekends, and swim in the summer. Go to parties, I want to have a life again. The tumor took that away from me, but don't worry. I will not let it beat me, I'll defeat the enemy(: