I Fought Like A Girl And Won.

Well I have had two surgeries since my last post. And al though they were big procedures, the recovery was easy. It wasn't truly that bad, the pain was easy to handle and the wounds quickly healed up. So now I have two more scars to add to the rest. And they have already started to fade.
All the spots are gone. And we have gotten the pathology back which told us that all the cancer cells were in fact cancer, and one of them still had live cancer cells. And if there were to be more spots popping up they would just go in and pluck them out. Which isn't a big deal.
I am healed since then. Going to school, being with friends, football games, normal teenage activities. Which I am so happy to be doing and participating in.
Even though they won't tell me I am cancer- free for awhile, I believe that I am. Healed. A word that means alot to me.
A word that in some situations I didn't think I would ever come to be. Looking back at what I've gone through makes me emotional. To think I was so close to dying but pulled through. Everything I missed out on, the things I lost, all the disappointments, it really sucked, but it is all worth it. To have those battle scars, to show the world that I beat cancer and that nothing can stop me. It shows that positivity and faith can really make a big difference. The quote, "You don't know what you have until it's gone," is so true. We often take advantage of our life's, what we have, the relationships we have, but you never know when it could all be taken away. Gone. So live life to the fullest, love a little more, and hate a little less. Thank God everyday for your many blessings, for good days, and good times. God blesses us everyday in every situation. He blessed me when I was sick and continues to do so. I think sometimes where I would be if I hadn't gotten sick. And I think I would have missed out on so many Godly people, and so many of God's blessings and miracles. I am alive today because God has more plans for me. Me being sick was Gods plan. I don't know what he has planned, none of us do. But I trusted God enough to heal me, and he did. We all want sunny days and shady trees, but sometimes we have to make due with the rain. And wait for the rainbow that follows.
- Posted using Madison's iPad<3

Trust.

So we had an appointment in Houston at the cancer center there called M.D Anderson. They gave us no other option than to go through with the thoracotomy. On July 19th I will have surgery to remove the spots on my right lung. They will make a incision on my right shoulder blade the size of a pinky. They will go in and push the muscle aside, cut through a rib, and take my lung out. Then they use tools to clamp the lung then use a different one to cut it out. When they have removed all the spots that they can feel, they will sew me back up. I will be recovering from that surgery in the hospital for 3 to 5 days or at least until the drain tube is able to come out. I will fly home and wait for however many weeks it takes me to heal, then go back and have it done again on the left side. Deja Vu right?
I am doing this risk group with my church with this group of girls who make risks in order to live a more Godly life. My risk this week was to put my complete trust in God.

1 Peter 5:7
"Give all your worries, and cares to God, for he cares about you."

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Psalms 31:14-15
"But as for me, I trust in you, O LORD; I say, " You are my God,"
My times are in your hands."


I am not scared yet about my surgery. But I can tell you I will be soon. So I'm putting my complete trust in God. I'm gonna trust him with all my mind, heart, and soul. And pray that this will be the last battle I have to fight. So I can finally say goodbye to this horrible illness and be known as a survivor.


- Posted using Madison's iPad<3

Summertime<3

Thank God it's summertime. Everyone needs a long break, including me. I'm just really happy to have a normal summer without all the cancer crap. Summer is a time for rest and fun. I am determined to have a great summer and do those things.

Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

I have been getting stronger everyday. I am worry free right now and even though it's just the start of summer, I have already had a great one.
On July 5th we are leaving for my Make-A-Wish trip in the Bahama's and I am super excited.:) Its gonna be a blast! And I am soo super pumped!
No new new's on my lungs right now. So I have nothing new to update. I'm so extremely blessed to be loved by so many people. So keep the prayers coming! :)

- Posted using Madison's iPad<3

Never Give Up The Faith.

"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith, and belief in yourself, vision, handwork, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.".

I just finishes a purity program with Carenet, that discuses the importance of staying pure. During that program we went on a retreat. At that retreat we were given some time to sit and be quiet and just let God speak to us. In that time I opened my heart to really hear God and I felt him saying I was NOT going to die. But live and tell my testimony of faith to others. I believed that he was truly telling me this and so I decided that whatever problems I was having I was going to give them to God. I was going to let God work out his plan the way it was meant to be, not the way I expected it. I feel that God is using me and my story to glorify him, and he will heal me when he wants to do so.
Today I finished my last set of scans. A pet scan and a cat scan which scan my body for more cancer. I have 5 spots. It looks as if the infection I had is now gone, and the spots are the same, and haven't grown at all. To me that is great news. And I feel as if the spots are not cancer at all. My doctors want to remove them but I really think we should leave them and monitor them. They haven't grown, so I don't think they are cancerous. We are going to seek a second opinion. To see if maybe there is another way to remove them and handle this.
I still like to tell myself I am cancer free. The word REMISSION makes me happy inside and hopeful that all of this junk is almost over. But like I said God will do it on his terms.

"I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done."
Psalm 118:17



- Posted using Madison's iPad<3

A Little Bit Stronger

Wow. So much has happened since my last post. I finally finished my last two chemo's! And my throat healed up fine! I got a very nice scar there actually! :) I am up to 118 pounds, and finally relearned how to swallow. Which took therapy. I'm eating a ton, and I am pretty much able to do everything my friends are doing! My hair is growing back, and it is curly which is exactly what I wanted it to do. Before I learned how to swallow I had to get a g- button put in my stomach. The button just opens and you can put food inside, and medicine. I don't use it anymore though, because I am eating regularly with no complications. I have been going out and being social. And pretty much working on being a regular kid!
But unfortunately my battle isn't over just yet. I have spots on my lungs. We don't know yet if they are cancerous or not. So my doctors want to do a double thorocodimee ( that's not how you spell it) which is a surgery where they would split open my chest and remove the spots. Which kinda sucks. So we are seeking other possible options.
Other than that my make a wish trip is coming up! I have decided to go to the Bahamas! We will probably go next month! I am super excited!!
I would like to think of myself as cancer free. But with those spots we don't know. We are just praying still. I am so thankful for everyones love and support. It means the world to me, and makes the light at the end of the tunnel a little more brighter!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

CaNcEr SuCkS!

Well, I decided since I was feeling better to write another post. Recently, I had throat surgery to remove the tumor, which I am happy to say is gone! But I ended up having two surgeries because the graph that the doctor took from my thigh didn't take, so the second surgery he took a graph from my arm. Thank goodness that one took. But because I was in bed for two weeks, it was so hard to walk. I lost a lot of weight and strength. Which that's real bad if your about to have another chemo treatment. I also got my trachea out, which was kinda scary. The feeling of not being able to breath is awful. But when they took it out and closed the hole, I could finally breath out of my nose and mouth. Which was a great feeling.
The surgery caused me to have to relearn how to swallow. Which was weird because naturally you are born with knowing how to swallow. How could you forget? My speech therapist told me that it will be easier to swallow when the swelling in my neck to go down. Which could take awhile.
When we finally got back home I got to rest for several days then we headed back to Dallas for yet another chemo. Chemo was fine. I went and did my chemo and then trucked home to Amarillo. Now when you do chemo the following week you get neutropenic, and that's when your immune system is like zero. So that next week we went to see my pediatrician here and she decided that I should be taken to the hospital for a blood transfusion. I went to the hospital and that's when we noticed that the incision on my neck was infected. My pediatrician decided that we should go to Dallas Childrens hospital to get better care. So that night we were careflighted to Dallas in a little jet. It turned out that the incision got infected. It is serious for cancer patients to get infections because of our weak immune systems. The infection cause the incision on my neck to completely open up. The last chemo wasn't a good idea.
I stayed at the hospital for weeks before I could return home again. Since then I have been fighting constant nausea that has gradually gotten better. The bad thing is that I can't finish my last two chemo's untill my neck heals somewhat. Today was supposed to be my last chemo. I could of been done.
I'm sad that I am missing out on everything. I miss being with my friends. It's like chemo ruined my life, put strains on my relationships, and took away my love for music. I've forgotten what it's like to live. So I just pray that we have no more complications, and everything will turn out okay. I've still got some fighting to do but I'm almost done. God works in mysterious ways!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

How Great Is Our God!

It has been forever since I have updated or told anyone what's been going on. I had to go to Dallas for five weeks of radiation. Radiation was the most awful experience anyone could go through. I had to lay on a long hard table, and they put a tight mask on my face. This huge machine circles around me and shoots radiation beems into my neck. Thats not too bad, but the side effects are not fun. I got a sunburn on my neck, and sores. I got mucasitis too, and its bad. It makes it hard to eat and drink. It also messes with my taste buds. I want to eat SO bad. Chemo is the same, sucky but not near as bad as radiation. I had to start taking T.P.N and Lipids, which is a bag of nutrients and a bag of fat, and after surgery on Monday I will get a stomach tube. I'm a little nervous about surgery. It's a long surgery, and I'll be kept in a drug induced coma to allow it to heal a little bit. The tumor will be removed, and I will have a throat dissection. They are going to take skin and a vein from my leg to put on my throat. I'll stay in Dallas, at Zale Lipshy to recover, and hopefully a couple of weeks after surgery I will get my trach out. I haven't felt good in several months, I just have started feeling normal. Which sucks because I can't do anything. Sometimes I feel like this just takes over my life. But then i think, how great my life will be when all this is over and behind me. And how everything will go back to how it was before. Sometimes I just catch myself thinking about how it used to be, when I could do anything or eat anything. Just have a normal life. It is still a shock that this happened to me, which proves it can happen to anyone.
I have been kinda depressed lately. I'm tired of feeling bad all the time, never feeling normal. Not being able to taste anything. It sucks, but I know not to feel sorry for myself. Stay positive. Because I have so much to live for. I have my whole life in front of me. It will get better, and I am so excited to be healthy again. I am so blessed, with great friends and family, and an awesome God. This will pass, and it has already gotten better. GOD IS GOOD!