It has been forever since I have updated or told anyone what's been going on. I had to go to Dallas for five weeks of radiation. Radiation was the most awful experience anyone could go through. I had to lay on a long hard table, and they put a tight mask on my face. This huge machine circles around me and shoots radiation beems into my neck. Thats not too bad, but the side effects are not fun. I got a sunburn on my neck, and sores. I got mucasitis too, and its bad. It makes it hard to eat and drink. It also messes with my taste buds. I want to eat SO bad. Chemo is the same, sucky but not near as bad as radiation. I had to start taking T.P.N and Lipids, which is a bag of nutrients and a bag of fat, and after surgery on Monday I will get a stomach tube. I'm a little nervous about surgery. It's a long surgery, and I'll be kept in a drug induced coma to allow it to heal a little bit. The tumor will be removed, and I will have a throat dissection. They are going to take skin and a vein from my leg to put on my throat. I'll stay in Dallas, at Zale Lipshy to recover, and hopefully a couple of weeks after surgery I will get my trach out. I haven't felt good in several months, I just have started feeling normal. Which sucks because I can't do anything. Sometimes I feel like this just takes over my life. But then i think, how great my life will be when all this is over and behind me. And how everything will go back to how it was before. Sometimes I just catch myself thinking about how it used to be, when I could do anything or eat anything. Just have a normal life. It is still a shock that this happened to me, which proves it can happen to anyone.
I have been kinda depressed lately. I'm tired of feeling bad all the time, never feeling normal. Not being able to taste anything. It sucks, but I know not to feel sorry for myself. Stay positive. Because I have so much to live for. I have my whole life in front of me. It will get better, and I am so excited to be healthy again. I am so blessed, with great friends and family, and an awesome God. This will pass, and it has already gotten better. GOD IS GOOD!
Madison-Keep your chin up sweetheart. We are all rooting for you and praying for you. I can't even begin to imagine how scary surgery is, but like you said, you have so much to live for and we serve an awesome God who is going to be right beside you through it all. Glad to hear that you are done w/ radiation, and know that I'll be praying for you and thinking about you extra over the next couple of weeks as you have surgery and recover from surgery.
ReplyDeleteMadison -- It was so good to see you, your mom and your sibs yesterday. You look great, even though I realize you feel so crummy. You are such an inspiration to me, and I admire your spunk, your courage, and your wit -- still the same old Madison to me! We will continue to pray for you and for the surgeons and staff who will be caring for you. I know it's going to be such a relief when this is over. Almost done. Keep the faith, baby. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteMadison my saying is radiation is for the birds but I guess I'm a bird for a little bit but not forever. I'm so glad you have a positive attitude. God is good and I will continue to pray for you as you have surgery and as you begin to heal and have your life back.
ReplyDeleteI knew when first I met you for STUCO that you were a special person. I watched you lead as a STUCO member with such compassion and grace. Your confidence and smile brightened up the room.
ReplyDeleteAs I've followed your story this summer - and I know it hasn't been easy for you - I am in constant awe of your faith and your strength. You are a beautiful person inside and out and it is clear - God has big plans for you. If you only knew the inspiration you have been to so many people. Hang in there, Baby doll. There are so many people who love you and are praying for you.
You'll have to bear with me for a minute - the English teacher is going to rear her ugly head...Have you thought about maybe writing a book about your experiences? Your blog is so well written and I can't help but feel your challenges, your attitude, and your ability could change the world for others facing similar situations. It might also provide something to do during recovery. I'd be happy to help should you choose to take on this endeavor. (You will probably get a book published before me!)
Keep the faith. Love, Mrs. M
Madison, you are a strong West Texas Woman! We are praying for your total healing with this surgery. We believe God is going to use this ordeal in an awesome way--may you bring many to Christ through this! Love you lots, Auntie Anna & family
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